All I Know About Asparagus

All I’ve been doing for weeks is working. No time to cook anything really fun, let alone post any recipes. But, I have a little time today so let’s talk about asparagus.

First, what do you look for when you’re trying to get the best asparagus?  Well, it depends on who you ask. Some say it doesn’t matter what size the stalks are, it’s all good. Just pick whatever size works best for what you’re going to use it for.

On the other hand, I’ve heard that asparagus spears have X number of fibrous strands running through them, no matter how thin or how thick. So the thin spears are mostly fiber, while the thick spears have more “meat” and actually cook up more tender. Personally, that’s been my experience. The last time I cooked skinny little asparagus it was like trying to eat twigs, so I’ve sworn off skinny asparagus for good.

On the other hand, when the bottoms of the spears get really thick and old, and turn white, does that mean they’re tough? That’s been my experience too but again, to each his own. I figure it’s like men. You don’t want the scrawny wiry little dude, you want the nice beefy guy, until he turns old and grey, then he’s not so good anymore. And you want spears that are firm, and not limp or wrinkled, with a tight and purplish tip. Yes, we’re still talking about asparagus.

To store asparagus, you can cut an inch off of the bottom of the spears, drop them into a jar with about an inch of water in the bottom, and put a plastic bag over the top. Or you can wrap them in a damp paper towel and put them in a plastic bag.

When it’s cooking time, most people line their asparagus up and cut off a little bit of the bottoms, so the spears are all the same size. I just snap off the tough part & don’t worry about uniformity. I hold the spear in the middle with one hand, hold the fat end in the other, and bend the spear until it snaps. In theory it will snap off where the stem is starting to get tough. That’s my plan anyway, and I’m sticking with it. It does waste more asparagus, which is expensive, so do whatever you want.

Types of asparagus? Well, there’s green, white, and purple. White asparagus is the geek version of green asparagus. It’s the same thing, tastes the same, it just never sees the light of day so it’s all white and pasty. Purple asparagus is a different variety, supposedly sweeter and more tender, but never having eaten any myself, I can’t confirm that.

Anyway, that’s all I know on the subject of asparagus. I make roasted/broiled asparagus pretty often, so you can check out my recipe if you have nothing better to do.

Crescent Roll Beerocks

I love beerocks. What’s not to love? But most often you get a wad of too much bread, with some too wet filling inside, that isn’t all that tasty. And then if you want to make them at home, you have to make bread, or at least get some frozen bread, and wait for it to thaw, and rise, and make the beerocks. And you have to make way too many, just to make it worthwhile, because you have all that bread. And now you have a whole afternoon invested and you’re still starving. Or maybe it’s just me.

Anyway, years ago I found this recipe that I think was from one of those Pillsbury bake-off contests, where you get some crappy prize for making something edible with one of their products. But this one’s a winner! OK, they’re definitely not on anyone’s healthy diet plan, and certainly not cheap to make, but they’re fast and easy and delicious. I mean, they’re made with crescent rolls, what could be better? Don’t they look yummy? You want some. You know you do. Listen to your bad self and make some crescent roll beerocks.

beerock dinner

Apparently Mom’s Not Cooking!

Welcome to life. Summertime is appraiser Hell on Earth. I’m lucky to have clean clothes to wear these days, let alone fix something great for dinner. But Mr. Man isn’t complaining. He’s busy fixing up the house and spending money faster than I can make it, so he’s more than willing to have me with my nose to the grindstone instead of in some cookbook. Besides, we’re both so fat we can afford to miss a few good meals.

These days he’s been cooking on occasion, for which I’m so grateful I don’t care what he fixes. Whatever it is, I’ll swear it’s the best thing ever even if I have to massage it down my throat. OK, seriously, he’s a pretty good cook as long as you like things grilled, or fried, preferably with gravy.

Or, sometime I throw something together that takes as little effort as possible. Survival Cooking 101. Yesterday it was roast in a crock pot. I’ve fixed roast every way you can think of, but I’m down to the absolute laziest way imaginable and frankly, they all taste about the same. So I figure, why work any harder than I have to?

Somebody asked me if I have any crock pot recipes the other day. So, here’s how I fix crock pot roast when cooking just isn’t a priority.

 

Cheesecake

basic cheesecake

Last night’s dinner was a success. Our guests went home porked to the gills and we didn’t have to order pizza. Merl’s brisket was fork tender. I tried suggesting some manly big time outdoor grilling become a Sunday ritual, but he’s not buying what I’m selling. It was worth a shot.

The cheesecake I made for dessert came out just like it’s supposed to, no gaping wound. So, I’ll get that recipe posted this morning before I begin another boring and stressful work day which could stretch through the entire week. I just never know.

But first, here’s a nice basic cheesecake for Danelle and whoever else needs it. Enjoy!

 

Company’s Coming!

Guests for dinner tonight. Merl had a hankerin’ to smoke some brisket and I’m not going to stand in his way. He patted it down with our favorite rub, and plans to cook it for ten hours, low & slow. If it’s not great, it’ll be a tragedy and we’ll be ordering pizza for our guests. You never know, could happen.

I’m making some pilaf and roasted asparagus to go with that, plus a salad and some french bread broiled with butter, garlic, and Parmesan cheese on top. Can’t go wrong with that….I hope!

And then there’s dessert. I’ve had a request for a cheesecake recipe. I make several different types of cheesecake because like ice cream, it’s all good in my book. But tonight I have a cheesecake purist coming for dinner. He likes his straight up, no frills, no toppings, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. I also have a family member that can’t eat gluten. So I figure I’ll start with this basic cheesecake recipe that has a gluten free filling. (Most of my recipes call for a small amount of flour.) I use regular graham crackers for the crust, but you can buy gluten free graham cracker crumbs if gluten is your kryptonite.

So, cheesecake’s in the oven. Brisket is on the grill. The yard smells like a forest fire. And the dog is looking hopeful. If all goes well, I’ll post asparagus and cheesecake recipes tomorrow. If not I’ll post a photo of an empty pizza box!

 

The Big Birthday Dinner

I did it. Bit the bullet and cooked “The Big Birthday Dinner” for Merl’s big day. Well, birthdays really aren’t all that exciting when you get past a certain point. I don’t remember where that point is, because we passed it soooo long ago. But, we try and drum up a little enthusiasm anyway because having another birthday is better than the alternative, and if nothing else it’s an excuse to pig out.

You always have to consider your audience, so I made this dinner heavy on the meat and starch. The only thing that would have made him happier would have been gravy, but I couldn’t figure out how to work it in there. There’s always next year.

Merl loves him some pork ribs, so I we had some of those. Future daughter-in-law doesn’t like pork, so I cooked a couple game hens in the old Showtime Rotisserie oven. That way Merl didn’t have to spend much time at the grill, and both my ovens were otherwise occupied, and I was already at my multi-tasking limit.

He loves baked beans, so we had those. Others would rather have potatoes, so we also had some hasselback potatoes too. Thought I had green beans but didn’t, so we had corn on the cob and some broccoli, just so there would be an actual veggie in there somewhere. We did have salad with creamy cilantro dressing, which is kind of like a Pollo Loco salad. AND, I made some Parmesan rolls from scratch. Then we topped that all off with some chocolate waffles for dessert. Whew! I don’t think I should have to cook for at least a week after all that. I may never get the kitchen clean again.

I’ve already posted my rib recipe and the recipe for my favorite dry rub, which I used on the game hens. Corn I just boil for ten minutes, then brush the ears with butter and sprinkle with seasoned salt. Broccoli gets steamed, then topped with butter and seasoned salt. No magic there. But I’ll give you recipes for baked beans, hasselback potatoes, parmesan loaves, creamy cilantro dressing, and chocolate waffles.

Enjoy! I’m taking a nap!!!

No, I haven’t given up…

It’s just that this is the busiest time of the year for real estate appraisers. People are paying me to work. Nobody’s paying me to cook. Most of the time, I don’t even get a pat on the head. So, I hold out my hand and weigh my choices. Money on one hand, thankless servitude on the other. Kind of a no-brainer.  One hand’s hanging a whole lot lower than the other.

That’s not to say we’ve given up eating. We always do plenty of that. There just hasn’t been much going on worth sharing.

But, Tuesday’s Mr. Man’s birthday, so things should be a little more promising. His dream dinner is pretty much some kind of grilled meat and a baked potato, skimp on the veggies and don’t waste your time on a salad. But he won’t be the only one eating dinner, so we’ll see if we can’t do a little better, make everyone happy, and hopefully I can at least get a recipe or two posted.

Till then…

Sorry Vegans

lamb shanks served

Today isn’t your day. OK, at my house it really isn’t, as the “Friends” theme song goes, your week, your month or even your year. But today sure isn’t your day. Today we’re cooking braised lamb shanks.

It may sound Baaaaaad to some, but they’re really pretty darn Gooood! I promise. I used to think I didn’t like lamb, but I’ve changed my mind. It’s not something I cook very often, but every once in a while you just have to get out of your rut and cook something different.

 

What? Vegan???

Shut the front door. I made minestrone soup. Which can be vegan. Or gluten free. But if you’re feeling scared don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be.

My grasp of Italian is pretty limited. My Nonni used to call me “squirrely” a lot, so I know what squirrel is in Italian, and some other choice words. But near as I can figure, minestrone is Italian for “everybody in the pool”.

Nonni used to throw in whatever veggies she had on hand and somehow it always tasted about the same, which was awesome. I can’t rock soup like Nonni did, but I make some pretty good minestrone if I do say so myself. Which I don’t. My friend Jeanne says my vegan version is pretty darn good. I make it with gluten free pasta for her.

For Mr. Man, I sometimes add MEAT, which makes him very happy, although he’ll go along with the meatless version too. Either way, it’s a good way to get some veggies in your belly and sometimes clean out the fridge.

minestrone

 

Something Sweet

oatmeal pecan chip cookies

Life is nothing without dessert, right? Ice cream is my favorite, but cookies come in a close second because they go great with coffee and coffee just rules my world.

I’m partial to crunchy, buttery cookies. Others like soft, chewy cookies. These loaded oatmeal cookies have a little something for us all, chewy oatmeal AND crunchy pecans…plus chocolate chips, because who doesn’t like those? Or you can add raisins instead, even though I can’t imagine why.